PARENT GUIDE: SUPPORTING YOUR CHILD THROUGH A CRISIS
Violent or frightening incidents can create a high level of stress and fear for people of all ages. Parents and caregivers, especially if they, too, are directly impacted, can feel at a loss for how to help their loved ones. Every child, teen, and adult will respond differently to crises, and we hope the information below will make coping and comforting a little easier.
This page was created after horrific event in Uvalde, so some of the wording will reflect that heartbreaking tragedy.
help for children ages 2.5 - 5
Younger children may be unable to use words to express what they’re feeling. Usually, changes in behavior can tell you something is causing them stress. These changes can range from losing new skills (like speech, personal hygiene) to experiencing body aches and pains with no explanation.
The easiest thing you can to do to help your child is maintain their routine. When the outside world is unpredictable, it’s comforting to have their structure remain. Also help young children identify what they can control and identify their feelings.
Click here for a longer list of symptoms and helpful hints for parents of children aged 2.5 - 5.
help for children ages 6 - 11
While older children might be more verbal, they still can lack the vocabulary to describe how they are doing or what is bothering them. They might not even recognize the source of their stress. Children affected by a crisis might lose interest in activities they usually enjoy. They might act out aggressively, withdraw, or even regress to earlier behaviors (like bedwetting).
As a parent, it’s important to listen (without interrupting or assessing feelings or fears) and to be patient if your child retells the event. Allow your child to try new ways to cope with a fear, especially at bedtime: extra reading time, leaving a light or music on.
Click here for a list of symptoms and ways caregivers can help children aged 6 - 11.
help for teens
There’s a wonderful metaphor about parenting teens that refers to swimming. Teens are supposed to be gaining independence. They’ve left the shallow end of the pool and spend time in the deep end, but they’ll swim to the side for help when they need it. That’s where we are as parents of teens - waiting on the edge to provide encouragement, to redirect, to pull them out when they need a break.
Click here for a list of common responses teens have to critical incidents and ways you can help them cope.
HELP for parents and caregivers
These events have substantial impact on parents and caregivers, especially when children’s safety is threatened. It’s important to recognize your own symptoms of stress and engage in practical self-care techniques. Adults, like children, respond to stress differently. Coping skills that work for one person might not work so well for another.
Click here for a list of common responses to a critical incident and healthy ways you can help yourself cope.